Be careful it's my Heart

The funny thing about love is that it can hurt all the way to your soul! Why does love have to hurt so much, love is suppose to feel good. Do you remember when you were first falling for someone, all you could do is think about that person, how they smell, feel, taste, how does it feel when he holds my hand, is he a good person? There are alot of feelings in the beginning. You are getting to know them and they you, if you are lucky they want to spend the rest of their life with you. However, you start to have life slap you around a little and it all goes to shit and I do mean shit, I really don't like to be foul but, words escape me!
I thought that loving someone meant that you didn't have to fight with the world anymore, can you believe that load of crap! I was hoping when I fell in love with a MAN he would want to keep me for himself and hold me when I cry, never let anyone hurt me or if they did he would hurt them right back....ha! I always wanted someone that I could defend, tell them anything about my past and not be worried that they would hurt you with it. What makes love hurt.....
MEN LISTEN UP, women want a MAN!! A man that really love us enough to not say things that could be dirty in front of their grown up kids, save that for the bedroom. They are respectful of there family and yours, they are always willing to let you cry out when you need to and hold you in his big arms when you have had a bad day. In turn you will love him with all of your soul and always give him all the same love right back!
A dumb man once said to me, "you don't need a man in your life you just need yourself and God", are you kidding me!?!?!?! I know that God made men for women, so why can't I have a man to help me through life and all it's pain, why can't I have God too! I have been in a blue funk over love....
Why does a Mother tell her daughter that she is a bitch because, she wants to move to another state, how can a Mother tell her daughter, that she can stop Loving her! If you really love someone you can't turn off love, like maybe but not LOVE! I have loved more deeply than most will know in there life time! I don't always say or show how much I can love, but I do! My heart has been broken into so many pieces that I don't think it can ever be fixed, but sometimes you just keep moving.....if you stop even for a moment you can feel it again, so you just become numb.
Here is a truth about me I am in Love again with myself, I have grown alot in the past few months. I no longer wish to just be content with some love, I want it all! I no longer want a mother that only likes me when I do for her or a step-father that molested me or a family that just want to use me or friends that don't remember that I don't always have time to hear their problems because I have my own problems. I do love my friends however I do NOT like to be taken advantage of.
Does anyone truly love me, do they even like me, do you want to get to know me. Then get to know me the real me and don't hurt me with the past just LOVE ME!!!!