I have finally decided to write about something that is close to my heart....LIES!
I have a love-hate relationship with the saying "You can't spell families without lies", have you heard that one? Well I live that one everyday that I breath!
I need to start with my childhood, as far back as I can remember my family members have lied to me for one reason or another, mostly lied over my real father. The other lies were to each other, you know the kind of lies that can only cause everyone pain. The interesting thing about me is that I was a only child and the family said all those lies with me in the room (I was a quiet child, that's the way they liked it) or they just flat out told me things they wanted me to say so they could keep their lies straight with each other. My mother would tell me not to tell my grand-mother something she didn't want her to know like, my step-father was a drunk, the next day my Nana (grand-mother) would know something was up and ask me, I WOULD"NT lie for anyone, then I would get spanked by my mother! This went on and on all of my life. My whole family is a mess from the lying they have done.
You know what I have figured out, that lies and manipulation go hand and hand. It's like I have done a study for the past 43 years, been observing in the background. All the hurt and pain that the lying has caused, manipulation is worse in a way because, you have to lie to yourself in order to be a grand manipulator! My parents are the best at it with my uncle not too far behind, they don't think that anyone knows what they are up to. "You need to come over and give your mother a shower because you have not given her a shower in 6 months, if you love her then make time in your schedule for your mother". This is unbelievable considering they wont let me come over unless it's under their terms and ... well I could go on and on but it's not really going to help me or you.
I have searched for the truth all my life, what I have come up with is that everyone knows someone that is a liar or a manipulator. I have read all kinds of books about lies and how not to get sucked into those people's lies, the truth is that the only way you can truly get away from all the hurt is to grow a pair (so to speak) or to move to a deserted island in the middle of the pacific ocean and live alone for the rest of your life. the real truth is in my heart and I follow it everyday! Surf ya later, Lili
